dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
