I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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