so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
