my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
