I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
