That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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