u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
