i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
