OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
