You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
