Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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