Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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