best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
