The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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