So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
