why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
