It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
