We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
