Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
