as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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