It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
