yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
