Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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