I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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