we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
