I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
