"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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