A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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