I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
