in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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