Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
