And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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