I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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