I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
