Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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