shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
