so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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