Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
