white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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