He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
