community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
