I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
