love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
