Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
