operation harelip BJ is a go
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
