I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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