somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
