i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
