Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
