Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
