Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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