So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
