I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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