one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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