ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
