those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
