i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize