i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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