Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
