actually, I'm a sock model
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
